July 10, 2001

Things Are Just Too Perky At The Raven, Chapter 1
by Kimmer

Tuesday, July 10, 2001
noonish at the Raven Night Club

Several of the Ravenettes were at the bar, having just returned from a wonderful shopping trip. Kimmer, LeeAnn, Molly, Kaiya, Claudia, Time and Chanda had spent the morning making a few merchants very, very happy.

Mindi and Teresa had opted out of this particular expedition. There was an art exhibit they wanted to catch. Alex and Jason were out cruising around in Janette's two-seater black BMW, being guys. Lorna's nurse had taken her to a rehab center for some physical therapy.

Janette, Alma and Miklos were sleeping, of course. The freshly-shopped Ravenettes had the bar to themselves. Squeals of excitement, much like children on Christmas morning, could be heard emanating from all corners of the bar. They had been so busy finding their own treasures, this was the first time they had had a chance to look at what the other Ravenettes had scored.

They had pretty much emptied out "Fashion Crimes" and "Siren". Kimmer and Claudia had made sure to pick up a few things for the Ravenettes that did not make the trip. Goth clothing and jewelry was examined, remarked upon, ooh'ed and aah'ed over, traded and hoarded. It wasn't until the smell of coffee started wafting over the room that any of them bothered to look up at the bar.

Janette was up! It was noon--okay, it was plenty dark in the Raven, with the barest track-lighting fixtures on, enough for the Ravenettes to examine their goodies. But she was *never* up at this hour! The strangest thing was, it was Janette who was behind the bar--making coffee!!!

The Ravenettes started to walk over to the bar. Janette gave them a positively radiant smile. "Looks like my lovelies have been busy, already, today! I am very glad to hear it, no sleeping in late for you! Up, up, up! The early bird gets the worm, and it looks like you all got some lovely worms!". Janette set about finding coffee cups for everyone, humming an upbeat tune that the Ravenettes weren't even sure what the name of it was.

Kimmer and Molly, and the rest of the Ravenettes for that matter, stared at the Dark Lady of the Knight in abject horror. It was happening here, too. Whatever the weirdness was that had hit other FK characters, had finally permeated the sanctuary of the Raven.

Janette came around the bar, setting full coffee cups and saucers down on the tables for her faction. She had on a short-sleeved yellow-and-white striped polo shirt, yellow walking-shorts, with a tan-colored thin belt at the waist. She had white bobby socks and Keds white tennis shoes on her feet.

Smiling at the Ravenettes, she motioned for them to come to the tables. "Come along, then, sit sit sit! You will need to have a coffee break! Got to keep that energy level up up up! I am going to make a list, while you have your coffee break, of things I want you to go back out and get for me. Oh! I already called my decorator, so I will be meeting with him while you are out! We need to kick this place up a notch, don't you think?!?! BAM!".

The Ravenettes were stunned. Kimmer turned to Molly and Claudia, who were sharing her table and whispered, "Oh man, this is terrible! Looks like we got Tracy Vetter--AND Emeril Lagasse!".

Finis Chapter 1

Things Are Just Too Perky At The Raven, Chapter 2
by Mindi

Tuesday, July 10, 2001
5:00 p.m. at the Raven Night Club

Mindi and Teresa returned from the art exhibit. Mindi bounced into the Raven, while Teresa was lagging behind, carrying in some treasures she had scored at the museum's gift shoppe.

Mindi stopped dead in her tracks and shrieked! "Oh my God....", she whispered, before howling "Teresa!!! Get in here! Quick!". Teresa came running, "Oh my --" she gasped out -- "What happened here?". Mindi winced as a particularly garish chartreuse and hot pink chair had replaced "her" bar stool. "I don't know, Teresa, but I swear to God we're gonna find out! No way did I come all the way to Toronto to get stuck in what looks like a nightclub decorated by Barney!". She shook her head as she surveyed the damage.....

Gone were the hanging chains, the dark, classically "Gothic" colors, the simple yet tastefully elegant touches (such as the small candle-lamp on each table), the fine linens and the dark furniture. Now the walls had been whitewashed and painted to some God-awful shade of PINK! The chairs had been replaced with contraptions, "I guess they're chairs," Mindi thought with a shake of her head. "At least I hope they are", in such unlikely color combinations as pink and chartreuse, pink and lime green, pink and yellow, pink and..."Wait a minute! Teresa! Are you noticing anything familiar here? Like everything has to do with the color PINK?!?!?". Teresa nodded, "Yeah, and everything's so BRIGHT and--" here they both looked at each other, horrified expressions on their faces as they both simultaneously yelled "PERKY!!!! AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!".

"We've GOT to find Janette! I bet the Perks are trying to pull a prank, but boy let me tell you if this is their idea of funny, just you wait.....let's see how funny they think it is when I redecorate their mansion, Ravenette-style! Including confiscating all their coffee, cappuccino, espresso machines AND taking ALL their coffee, tea, and caffeinated beverages!". Mindi was talking a mile a minute now, planning massive retribution for the Perks for daring to defile the Ravenettes' "Holy Ground" as it were. She was on a roll, and Teresa had to not-so-gently poke her in the side to get her attention.

Teresa was finally able to get a word in edgewise, and whispered to Mindi, pointing towards the bar. "Uh, um, Mindi, take a look at Janette before you plan your War Party....". "Huh, what? what's that?" Mindi, having gotten so worked up at planning a raid of sorts had not noticed Teresa's nudge until Teresa grabbed her and spun her around, bringing her face to face with....

"NO! It can't be!!!! Janette???!!! What's happened to you, to the Raven?", but Janette was only smiling at them as she chirped (Chirped!) "Don't ya like it? I always thought this place could use a little brightening up, don't you? Ya know, let a little light in now and again! Enough with the dark and angsty look, it reminds me too much of Nick!".

Grinning from ear-to-ear, Janette continued, "So I've been redecorating!". Teresa had to catch Mindi as she went weak in the knees. "Are you okay?", Janette asked, very concerned. "You look awfully pale, let me get you a cup of coffee! I know just the blend, it's from Starbucks...". That was too much for the newbie Ravenette.

"You're not Janette! You're Tracy Vetter!!!". Now it all made sense, the pink-themed redecorating, the cheerful, PERKY music in the back-ground, Janette making coffee, and the outfit! Janette/Tracy had on plain black slacks, plain flats and a shockingly PINK ruffled shirt. Not a stitch of Versace in sight!

Janette laughed and said, "Of course I am! Who'd you think I was, silly!".

Mindi was in turmoil. She had heard rumors, starting at their party, of FK characters switching personalities. Everything had seemed fine at the Raven, though. But now, this was Janette! The femme fatale vampiress of Toronto, turned into a perky, highly-caffeinated woman with practical fashion-sense. It was too much to fathom--Mindi's mind begin to swirl, the stars merging into black--"Teresa, catch me--" she whispered, before she simply fell to the floor in a dead faint.

Mindi woke up a few minutes later, Janette/Tracy looking at her worriedly. "Teresa, the other Ravenettes should be back shortly, get someone to help you with Mindi, and where is Miklos? I think we should have a special tonight on tropical drinks, and coffee drinks with liqueurs on the side--" Janette/Tracy headed towards the basement door. "I need to go down there, I am sure it is all musty down there. Needs to be aired out, too--"

Teresa and Mindi shouted, "NO!" at the same time. Janette/Tracy looked at them curiously. Teresa quickly said, "No, wait, it's a bad idea, a lot of those wines down there are very fragile, the temperature has to stay the same all the time, Miklos knows, yes, we will find Miklos. He can get you whatever you should need from down there. He knows all about wines".

Janette/Tracy shrugged and said, "Whatever", and giving up on her plan to go to the basement, proceeded back to the bar to brew another pot of coffee.

Kimmer and Molly showed up and, rolling her eyes at Teresa, Kimmer said, "Oh, lovely! She sends us away, and this is what we come back too?". The other Ravenettes milled about, mouths gaping open, trying to deal with the new decor.

Molly looked at Janette, noting the outfit change. "Black and pink, well, hey, it's better than this afternoon". Teresa and Mindi looked at her, full of unbelief. "White and yellow," Molly continued, "yellow walking shorts".

Mindi shrieked again and Teresa put her face in her hands. Claudia sat down next to Mindi, and rubbed her back. "What are we going to do? Are we going to open the club like this?", Claudia asked, not feeling so good, herself.

Kimmer thought for a moment and said, "Okay, well, yeah, we got to do something. Miklos and Alma will be up shortly. That'll be fun. I guess we could go with a Florida theme, maybe Hawaiian, have a freaking luau, I don't know--" Kimmer trailed off.

Molly nodded and said, "Okay, maybe some sort of island night, island food motif, yeah, it's a start. When Mindi gets herself together a little bit, we'll check the kitchen, call some vendors. I'll talk to Miklos, I am sure he does not have enough juices and mixes if we are going to go tropical. But if that is what the boss lady wants, that is what she is going to get. I guess." Jan-ette/Tracy had added a lei to her ensemble, and was playing Don Ho music loudly on the sound system. Kimmer and Claudia walked over to see what else she had pulled out of the stack of CDs by the DJ booth. A lot of industrial/techno music, and some more island-themed music. "We have some serious mood swings going here, girl, I tell ya what," Kimmer whispered to Claudia, who nodded in agreement.

Walking back to the other Ravenettes, Kimmer did a 360 and surveyed the room. "Hey! Where are the guys!!! Where's Jason and Alex, when we need them. Guys!". The Ravenettes giggled, and Molly said, "Probably out storming the castle!". The brevity did a lot to cheer the Ravenettes up.

Mindi was getting it back together, now that she had reinforcements and time to come to terms with the changes. She grabbed her cell phone and began to dial.....

finis chapter 2

Things Are Just Too Perky At The Raven, Chapter 3
by Alex

Tuesday, July 10, 2001
6:00 p.m. at the Raven Night Club

Alex and Jason had had a craving for Vietnamese food. They had happily stuffed themselves, and were sitting back relaxing, when Alex's cell phone rang.

"Hello, oh, yes, Mindi....WHAT?!?!?!" Jason and the other patrons of the restaurant were staring at a very agitated customer.

"Mindi, just keep her occupied, we are on our way back. Keep her out of the 'House Specials'. We'll be there soon to help!". Alex threw some money on the table, motioned for Jason to follow him, and soon they were zooming back to the Raven.

Alex filled Jason in on the situation at the Raven, as much as he knew. Apparently the strange behavior that had been plaguing FK characters had now hit Janette. Jason was having a hard time comprehending Janette as Tracy Vetter.

Walking into the Raven, the enormity of the situation hit both Ravens full force. It was so bright and .... pink. Janette was behind the bar, brewing pots of flavored coffees, and lining up bottles of Tia Maria, Kahlua, Drambuie, Frangelico, Bailey's, Grand Marnier. She was happily concentrating on her concoctions, and--whistling. Jason and Alex looked at each other, and hurried over to join the other Ravenettes.

Alex cornered the two Ravenettes that had called him. "Mindi! Teresa! what, how--how did this happen?".

Before either one could answer, Janette yelled, "Yoo hoo! Boys! Glad to see you are back! How about a nice coffee break?".

Alex whispered, "Mindi--go get Miklos. He'll help us get the Raven back to its' proper state. Teresa, I'm going to go get Alma, you keep an eye on Janette".

"Why, Alex, what can Alma do?" queried Teresa.

"She can keep the fledglings under control and away from Janette. Maybe she can whammy her to keep her under control and stop all this, this--perkiness! We need to stop her before she perkifies this place any further!".

Alex walked down to the cellar nervously. He found Alma still asleep. Alex racked his brain, trying to remember if he ever knew the proper procedure for waking up vampires. He couldn't really think straight, not under these conditions, so he gently shook Alma's shoulder. Alma woke up, fangs out, wild-eyed and her left hand grabbed Alex's throat.

"Alma, e-e-emergency!" Alex gasped out.

"What emergency, that you decide when to wake me?".

"Come upstairs, you must see for yourself--" Alma let him go, and Alex followed her up the stairs, coughing.

He followed her as quickly as possible, wanting to be there for Alma. As hard as it was for Alex and the other Ravenettes, he suspected Alma would be terribly upset.

Instead, Alma just started to laugh. And laugh and laugh and laugh....

Meanwhile, Mindi and Teresa were talking to a very annoyed-looking Miklos, who was not handling things well as he viewed the new decorations. Janette came up to Miklos, put a lei around his neck, winked at him, asked him to make her a pina colada, and wandered off, whistling, to find Alma. She had an especially lovely pink lei for Alma......

finis chapter 3

Subject: WAR: Ravenettes: "Things Are Just Too Perky At The Raven" Chapters 1, 2 & 3
Date: Tue, 10 Jul 2001 09:35:14 -0600
From: kimmer kimmertom [at] qwest.net
To: forever knight fan fiction list FKFIC-L [at] lists.psu.edu

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That's it! I'm out of here!
by Kaiya.

Date: July 10th.
Set: Just after "Things Are Just Too Perky At The Raven"
All Ravenettes used with permission.

"This has to GO! NOW!" Smashes were heard as an irate Ravenette tried to drag various offending bits of pink furniture out of the Raven. Molly picked up a hideously decorated bar stool, looking ready to throw it out of the door, with no cares to where it went as long as she didn't have to see it again. Alex and Jason wrestled the bar stool from her grip as the rest of the Ravenette's milled around them. They'd gathered in one corner of the Raven to discuss what rated as a 20 on a disaster scale of 1-10.

"Molly!" Kaiya tried to calm her irate friend down. She wasn't having much success. Across the room Miklos was mixing drinks for Tracette, his usually calm face showing just withheld anger. Alma's laughter had abruptly ended when Tracette dropped a pink lei around her neck. It had taken some quick thinking from the Ravenette's to prevent Tracette from coming to a nasty end, Janette's body or not.

"No! Kaiya! Look around you!" Molly wasn't happy. "IT'S PINK FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS!" Kaiya winced, partly at Molly's shriek, partly at the reminder. She knew it was pink, she /hated/ pink. Apparently not quite as much as Molly but she wasn't far behind. Kaiya had just about had enough when Tracette jumped on to the dance floor, dragging two fledglings to hold a broom handle, and started trying to limbo. Kaiya stared in horror, her mind refusing to accept this ghastly scenario. Her Dark Lady, dressed in colors, limboing on the dance floor of Kaiya's haven.

"Ahhhhh!" it was her turn to scream in frustration. "That's it! I'm out of here!" she flung up her hands in despair and spun to walk off. Even Bill was terrified! Molly's pet had entered the Raven from upstairs once, and once had been enough. Shrieking loudly enough to put everyone else to shame, Bill had fled the Raven's main rooms and they hadn't seen him since. Smart animal. He was probably upstairs, thanking the Goddess that Tracette hadn't managed to redecorate them.


Kaiya planned on putting an industrial strength lock on her door, with her inside, and hiding until Tracette returned to herself again. *We had such a run of good luck up until now, too* she thought to herself with a sigh.

"Kaiya!" Kimmer broke in, trying to play the voice of reason. "You can't /leave/! We need you!"

"But Kimmer ..." Kaiya's voice took on a slight whine. "It's pink! And our Dark Lady is doing the LIMBO on the dance floor! Wearing COLORS and ... and ..." the newbie Ravenette stopped, her eyes wide with horror. It was too much for her to handle. "I want the old Raven back!" she pouted.

"I want the old Raven back too," Molly backed up her friend. A chorus of "Yes!" greeted their statements. Everyone turned and stared demandingly at Kimmer who looked momentarily helpless. Sometimes she hated being leader. She floundered for a moment and then nodded.

"Okay ... here's what we'll do," Kimmer informed the others. "Let's get Tracette somewhere out of the way, we'll have Miklos lock her in her apartment or something. /Then/ we all pull together and we restore this place to it's /proper/ form. Because we can't open the Raven like this, we'd never be able to show our faces in public again!" Pausing she glared at Kaiya and added, "And no one's leaving!"

Kaiya sulked. The others nodded. This was a disaster, but at least they had a plan ...

(Sort of!)

Subject: WAR: Ravenettes: "That's it! I'm out of here!"
Date: Tue, 10 Jul 2001 16:09:21 -0700
From: "Huntress aka.RavenetteX" sapphicstone [at] YAHOO.COM
Reply-To: "Huntress aka.RavenetteX" sapphicstone [at] YAHOO.COM

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Desperate Measures
by Molly/StormBorn

Date: July 10th.
Immediately following: "That's it! I'm out of here!"

Bill had cheerily rolled down the stairs, uncoiled, looked around and then with an ear-splitting shriek had rolled back up the stairs as fast as he could. Molly understood just how he felt. Breaking lose from Alex and Jason's grip, she took command of the situation. "Alma, Miklos, please escort Madame to her apartment and...*secure* her there until further notice. Mindi, get on the phone to Janette's decorators and have them redo this atrocity. The rest of you start dumping every single lei and every single cocktail umbrella you can find into the dumpsters in the alley. Now!."

"Madame may not be pleased," Miklos stated cautiously.

"That may be Madame's body, but that is not Madame inside it. Now, go."

It wasn't until Tracette heard the door to her apartment being barred from the outside that she started protesting. When it became apparent that no one was responding, she threw herself down on the bed and looked around. Crimson and gold and black. Very French, but at the same time, very dark. "Geez," she said. "This sucks. I want some coffee. I want some *fun*."

Downstairs, the decorators and their crew arrived within the hour. They had been a little concerned when the first order came in to make the Raven perkier, and were relieved to undo the makeover. Meanwhile the Ravenettes grouped together for a stiff drink. Molly's eye fell on something beside the coffee maker and she snarled again. "That--that--person was going to put Drambuie in coffee! Sacrilege!" She grabbed the bottle off the shelf and cradled it to her rather copious bosom.

"We've got to do something," said Kaiya, wild-eyed.

"We have to find out what's causing it," Kimmer decided. "Any ideas?"

"It can't be tainted blood," Mindi pointed out, "Or it wouldn't be affecting Tracy and Schanke."

"Some sort of environmental poison?" offered Jason. "Maybe something in the police station?"

"Janette hasn't been to the precinct since season two, I believe," Alex said thoughtfully, sipping his Australian beer.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think it was 'the demon seed,'" Molly remarked sourly.


"Yeah...I mean, if she could come back to life after nearly two thousand years with her head cut off, the gods know what she could do."

As one, they shivered. Mindi sat straight up on her bar stool. "You don't think?"

"No," Kimmer added quickly. "We *saw* LaCroix burn her."

While the faithful followers sat depressed in the bar, Tracette had had enough of her enforced confinement. "I'm a good cop!" she declared. And with that she pried open a window and used the rope she'd knotted out of bed sheets to lower herself to the ground. "And I want a donut!"


Subject: WAR: Ravenettes: Desperate Measures
Date: Tue, 10 Jul 2001 16:53:10 -0000
From: "StormBorn" smolly4 [at] QWEST.NET
Reply-To: StormBorn smolly4 [at] QWEST.NET

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