July 17, 2001

Therapy and Shopping
by Kimmer

takes place Tuesday morning, July 17, 2001
after Kimmer gets cleaned up from the bar fight

Janette's limo pulled up outside the discreet office building. Wearing a dark head scarf, large black sunglasses, and cool, crisp linen, Kimmer hurried into the building.

"Dr. Schlockenberg will see you now," the receptionist told her.

Kimmer shook hands with the therapist, and sat down. She told him of the horrors of the bar fight, and being dressed in white polyester by the Elvi.

"You work at a bar, correct?" the doctor inquired politely.

"Well, yes, when I am in Toronto" Kimmer replied.

"Acts of violence, however unfortunate, do tend to occur in places that serve alcohol". Dr. Schlockenberg said, gazing intently at his patient.

"Doctor, you need to understand. I can throw a punch, and I can take one. That is not the problem. I was, was, accosted by a bunch of jumpsuit-wearing Elvi that dressed me in, in--" Kimmer halted, the tears brimming in her eyes. When she continued, her voice was but a whisper "....Polyester. And, and, it was *white* polyester".

Dr. Schlockenberg and Kimmer spent the next 45 minutes going back in time, digging around the roots of Kimmer's aversion to cheap, manmade fabrics and the color white.

It was painful, but they did achieve a breakthrough. Kimmer was able to overcome her fear of the Ravenette kryptonite, well, at least while she was sitting in the black Italian leather chair.

Boistered by her successful therapy session, Kimmer headed back out into the hot summer day, climbed into the dark, cool limo, and headed to Bloor Street. She would take her therapist's advice. She would grab the bull by the horns. She would overcome. She was going shopping!


Subject: WAR: Ravenettes: "Therapy and Shopping"
Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2001 09:33:52 -0600
From: "kimmer" kimmertom [at] QWEST.NET
Reply-To: kimmer kimmertom [at] QWEST.NET
all participants used with permission

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Cake Baking Made Easy
by Mindi

takes place Tuesday, July 17, 2001
late morning/early afternoon at the Raven

"AIIIEE!!!" Mindi shrieked as she suddenly realized what she had done! "Yikes! I've got to get busy!!! I have to make more of these cakes in time for the party at the Happy... Slouvaki or whatever!" Whirling she vanished into the chaos that was the kitchen...

3 hours later...

"Hey, anyone know where Mindi disappeared to?" Kimmer asked looking for the Ravenette newbie. "Hmmm, last I saw her I think she was heading for the kitchen..." Molly volunteered "Only girl I know who LIKES to be in the kitchen-" she muttered with a sigh. "Okay" Kimmer said poking her head into the cavernous kitchen and immediately jumping back as Mindi, brandishing a spatula dripping with red batter that looked very "fitting" considering her murderous expression poked her head out saying "Out! Out until these are done!!!" She disappeared again but not before everyone noticed her ensemble... Despite the flour sprinkled liberally over it and a few batter drips, it was a very fashionable black hand woven cotton with the red "Raven" logo silk screened on it.

She went back into the kitchen, belting out a very good (if I do say so myself!) rendition of "Long Cool Woman In a Black Dress" the unofficial Ravenette Theme song as she whirled about...

Molly, Kimmer, Kaiya and a few of the other Ravenettes peeked in the windows on the French style doors and blinked.... Mindi was a dervish! racing from here to there, pulling one cake out of the oven and sliding it deftly onto a cooling rack before opening the refrigerator door with her foot and grabbing one of the many icing bowls to frost yet another confection that demanded her attention.

"Wow" was all Kimmer could say as they all backed away from the door to sit at the bar talking and drinking, wincing at the cacophony in the kitchen before...

"DONE!!!!" Mindi howled throwing her hands up striking a dramatic pose as she cried "Free at last! Free at last! Thank The Dark Lady of Toronto, and her killer kitchens! I am Free at Last!"

She was quite the sight, her apron was covered with flour, sugar, icing and chocolate!, her hair was wild, a few ebony tendrils sneaking free of the bun she had yanked it into, and on her one cheek...

"Mindi!" Kimmer gasped "You're bleeding!" Mindi blinked "Where?" she asked "You're cheek-" Mindi reached out and gently touched it before laughing "Oh no Kimmer, it's not blood, just batter!" She grinned evilly "That and I thought I'd do myself up like my favorite ex-assassin..." Both Molly and Kimmer grinned before all 3 Ravenettes yelled out "Kai!" Once they got their laughter under control, she grinned before saying, "s'done! 5 Red Velvet Cakes, 10 White chocolate Decadence cakes (Remember we''ve got Mercs and Natpackers! she whispered) 5 Dark-Death-by-Chocolate cakes, and a whole mess of other things... Never let it be said that the Ravenettes go to a party unprepared or empty handed!" Everyone cheered before Jacroix appeared and "tsk"-ed softly shaking her head "Cherie, ma petite, you may bake the best treats around, non? And certainment no one will say we came empty-handed! 20 cakes? Mon Deiu! But Cherie have you forgotten? Part of being a Ravenette is the element of style! And Cherie-" here she stared pointedly at her batter-stained and bedraggled appearance "THAT Ensemble is NOT it..." Mindi let out a quiet "eep!" suddenly noticing her appearance "Jacroix, I'm SO Sorry-" she began "Shh petite, just go change... you'll find a new outfit set out for you" Jacroix smiled at the Ravenette's amazed expression "Think of it as a 'Thank you'" she said before giving the still-stunned Ravenette a gentle push toward the stairs and her waiting room....

Subject: WAR: Ravenettes: "Cake Baking Made Easy"
Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2001 23:58:04 +1000
From: "Access1" taliesyn [at] C031.AONE.NET.AU
Reply-To: Access1 taliesyn [at] C031.AONE.NET.AU
all participants used with permission

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Party Hearty At The Happy Souvlaki, Chapter 1
by Kimmer, Molly/Stormborn & Lorna

takes place on Tuesday, July 17, 2001
at the Raven Night Club and at the FoDs Party at the Happy Souvlaki

Lorna looked around the Raven. She had not been very involved in this war, the week she had spent in the hospital shortly before it started having taken its' toll. Still, it had been wonderful coming to Toronto and being with old friends, making new ones, and hanging out with Molly's lizard, Bill. The party tonight was going to be fun, and just what she needed. Thankfully, Janette knew the best seamstress in Toronto, so she had something comfortable yet stylish to wear. This was no small feat for the seamstress to accomplish, as Lorna was now confined to a wheelchair. Fortunately Miklos was attending this party, too, and would be available to push her around any long distance. This made Lorna very happy, for now she would not have to wear those ugly bicycling gloves to protect her hands. Instead a diamond dinner ring graced her right hand, diamond tennis bracelet her right wrist, and diamond watch her left one.

Kimmer, Molly, Mindi, Kaiya and Teresa joined Lorna at her table. They popped a couple of bottles of champagne to drink before they left. Miklos was behind the bar, stashing a few bottles of the House Special in a portable bar for Jacroix and himself. Alex and Jason were making sure the bars in the limos were well-stocked. Chanda, Time, Claudia and LeeAnn came into the bar, chatting away and laughing. They decided to join in on the festivities, opening champagne and sitting at the bar.

The Ravenettes were getting a little too comfortable, Kimmer decided, and it was time to leave. Alma and the fledglings were looking forward to having the place to themselves for a change. "You'll miss us when we're gone!" Kimmer had declared earlier to Alma, who threw a well-aimed heel at Kimmer's head. Kimmer rubbed the area the shoe had made contact with gingerly, positive that she had a little bump. She hurried to her room to recomb and add a little more mousse. Then, it absolutely was time to get the Ravenettes out of the bar.

"Mindi, Mindi!" Kimmer hollered over the merry-making din. Mindi dutifully set her glass down and gave Kimmer her undivided attention. "Are you all done with those goodies you promised to bake earlier today?".

Mindi nodded, and jumped up, eager to show off her latest culinary treats.

Molly, Time, Teresa, Claudia and LeeAnn helped Mindi bring out her creations. After much oohing and aahing, and pushing the men back out the door ("It figures Alex and Jason would come back in, when we get the food out!" Kimmer had whispered to Molly, who chortled in agreement), it was time to box up the goodies and head to the FoDs party.

It took two limos to get all of the Ravenettes, with Jacroix and Miklos in tow, to the Happy Souvlaki Deli. Upon arrival, they poured out and hurried to the front door. It was time for another party!

Molly sniffed the air cautiously as she entered the party with Lorna. The FoDs must have used some heavy-duty air neutralizer, for she caught not a whiff of stomach-turning lamb, and sighed in relief. Bill, who had become very fond of Lorna and was riding in a sack attached to the back of her wheelchair, stuck his snout out too. He gave a softly inquiring screech, then cocked his head at Molly. "Don't worry, Bill," she said. "There'll be brains--*cow*--brains, for you".

Cindy, the leader of the FoDs, came up to greet the Ravenette faction. Mindi showed her the boxes of treats she had baked that day, and Cindy found a FoD to help Mindi to the kitchen. Once she had her treats delivered, Mindi headed back to the party. It was time for some fun!


Party Hearty At The Happy Souvlaki, Chapter 2
by Mindi

Striding back into the party, Mindi grinned wickedly as she whispered something in Kimmer's ear before taking out a CD.... "Now, she murmured, let's show these people how to MOVE... and" she whispered to herself "How to really solve this War- thingy, in true Ravenette fashion- With STYLE!!!" Minutes later a song began to play... And slowly everyone turned to look at just WHO was coming in now....

The Ravenettes were all smiling as Ja Croix, (in Janette's favorite long, body hugging, raven-black velvet and silk dress) hair stylishly done, thanks to input from all the Ravenettes, slowly, regally strode into the room....

"Lady Bless Ja Croix looks stunning-" Mindi whispered "Of course she does honey!" Kimmer whispered back "La Croix's proud bearing and excellent posture look SO good on our lady!" The Ravenettes War Leader said with a smile at the newbie. "The clothes, the hair, oh Thank the Goddess! She looks fantastic" Molly whispered to the rest of the Ravenettes who all stood, mesmerized by the entrance of their patron.

Slowly (Janette in LaCroix's body)- LaCroix, (In Black raw silk Armani Of Course!) strode across the room and to where her body stood, poised on lethal looking stilettos that emphasized the length of JaCroix's slender legs. They both stared at each other for a moment before Mindi hit the "play" button on the sound system-Suddenly the music began to play and both Ja Croix and (Janette in LaCroix's body) La Croix turned to flash the trembling newbie a smile. Mindi had wanted so badly to do SOMETHING right in this War! So this was the best thing she had come up with, a great way to get Ja Croix and (Janette in La Croix's body) La Croix back together ... she only hoped it worked and that they wouldn't drain her for doing it! But at their smile she relaxed and watched, swept away as the two began to dance to "Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress"....

"Well Done Mindi" Kimmer murmured softly to the Ravenette staring absolutely stunned by the beauty of the dance before her.

They moved together with the familiarity that only comes after years, no, centuries of practice. They flowed like water, not just moving to the music but becoming it, serious, tender, passionate and fun, they swept across the dance floor daring anyone to try and deny them this moment, father and daughter, teacher and student, one-time lovers, together.... and in that moment, in that space and time, no one dared...

finis chapter two

Subject: WAR: Ravenettes: "Party Hearty At The Happy Souvlaki"
Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 21:21:42 -0600
From: kimmer kimmertom [at] qwest.net
To: forever knight fan fiction list FKFIC-L [at] lists.psu.edu
all participants used with permission

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We Are Family
by the Warmistress and her minions (thanks, minions!)

Time: Middle of Schanke's anniversary party, after all the factions have arrived

The partygoers mulled around, wondering where (and for that matter, who) the Guest of Honor was. Suddenly, a commotion at the door caught their attention.

Schanke and Tracy burst through the entrance, shouting, "We've got it! We are each other!"

"We know that, Schanke," FoD leader Cindy pointed out.

"No, no, no. I know you know *that*. We *really* are each other, switched or not," Tracy in Schanke declared. "Who am I?"

"You're Tracy, and we love you," Anita, the DP leader, said.

"But what else am I? What's my job, besides being a *good* cop, that is?. I'm Nick's partner!"

"Right ..." Anita and her co-leaders, Wolfy and Anne, looked at each other in confusion.

"And what am I?" Schanke in Tracy asked. "I'm Nick's partner, too! See? We truly are each other!" He grinned appreciatively and gestured at the crowd."And it's not just me and Tracy. All of us are each other."

The crowd began eying each other furtively, trying to imagine themselves in each other's shoes, non-sensible or not. It was not a pretty picture.

"But how has that caused the switches to happen?" a puzzled Katrinka asked.

"I think I know the answer to that." UFer Kathy stepped forward shyly. "I've been pondering this a lot. We all made this happen, with our imagination and our writing."

"You mean we all caused the switches to happen?" asked Kimmer.

"In a way, yes," Kathy continued. "Look at all the differences in characterization among the three seasons of the show, let alone the factions, and all the fan fiction. Every person has his or her own interpretation of th e characters. Two writers might take the same exact situation and characters, go off in totally different directions, and come up with a totally different story."

"Well, which one's the right one, then? I mean, a person, oops, a character is what a character is." This from Vaq leader Felicia.

"That's my whole point. There isn't a RIGHT one. I think that is what's been causing the personality switches. Think back to the last few wars, and all the on again off again faction divisions and rivalries. There's been so much dissension about what the characters really are. So many different portrayals. So much argument. I think the characters went on overload, not knowing who they were any more."

"So how do we get them back to themselves, then? And get them to stay put?" questioned NNP Susan.

"By doing what we've been doing. Writing collaborative stories. Accepting different viewpoints. Agreeing to disagree. Remembering that we're one big happy FK family," Kathy concluded.

"I think I'm going to be sick," the GHP said.

"Indeed," LaCroix (in Janette's body) said under his breath, although he couldn't totally contain his interest.

"But we've been doing that, haven't we? At least for this war. So how come they keep switching?" interjected NatPack leader Debra Ann..

"They'ze keep switchin' cause this is a two week war an we' had a haf sometin to rite about," Libby squealed. Johnsie and McLisa nodded their heads side to side in agreement.

"Then how do we make them stop?" asked UFer Les.

"By holding hands in a big circle, clicking our heels, and saying "There's no place like Toronto?" MercMommy Mildred smirked and the other Mercs snickered.

"By writing premise resolutions into Schanke's anniversary party posts!" Kathy declared.

"Hw do we know that will work?" asked Comfy Cottage resident Kezia.

"Because the all-powerful and mysterious Warmistress says so."

"Ahhh!" A deep sigh of collective relief went through all the partygoers. People began to smile at each other. Even Knighties and Cousins, Ravenettes and NatPackers, too. A few even hugged.

"Oh, I don't care if you people never change back!" the GHP declared, "All this touchy feely crap is disgusting! There's got to be some other solution that doesn't involve being nice that you people have been working on d uring the war. Not all of you are Knighties. I want to see some action!" The GHP snapped her fingers. "F. Hugh!" A sizzle-hiss-pop! produced the tiny dark body of the Poobah's fanfic fairy. "Compile me a list! Cross-refer ence! Itemize! Amortize! In hand! Now!"

Crrreeeeek! *Poof!*

A yellow and black book popped into the Mercbard's greedy grasp. The front cover read, "War XI Premise Wrap-Up For Dummies." She began to flip through the pages, skipping the chapters about hugging and sing-alongs. "Ah! C hapter 15: Pulling Everything Together" She turned the page, reading aloud as she skimmed."Note: It is necessary when wrapping up a premise to have all major characters (such that they are) and War players within the same room, for example, the Schanke's anniversary party." The GHP looked up, glanced around the room, and nodded decisively. "Check. Got that sucker covered."

"No, wait!" Christy from Nunkies Anonymous called. "Patt's not here. She stayed at the Shrine to rest after the bar fight."

"Crap. You Nunkie people are always messing around! Get serious!" The GHP flipped back to a previous chapter: Rules, Provisos and Exceptions. Laurie threw her hand in the air and recited another segment. "...All recommend ations,rules and requirements set forth in this manual apply to all War players except Patt. She's special."

"That's not fair!" Knightie Co-Leader Eowyn complained.

The GHP shook the book in the air. "I didn't write this junk. Don't complain to me. Just keep hugging stuff, and let me read."

"Let me see that!" Cousin Tok reached over and grabbed the book out of the GHP's hand. The MercBard turned to complain, but seeing both Janette and LaCroix, to say nothing of a horde of Cousins, standing behind the Cousin ly Leader, she reconsidered.

Cousin Tok picked up where the GHP had left off, continuing with the Wrap-Up. "...Following is a list of notable anomalies contributing to the switch phenomenon. Address each one (and any other) successfully, and the war premise will be solved..."

1) Variance in fan fiction interpretations leading to conflict and disagreement over which characters are genuine.

2) Deficiency in Vitamin U leading to personality disorders.

3) Mercs giving away free chocolate. (At this, MercMommy Mildred began heading to the door.)

4) The wrong ice cream cones are intersecting in secret physics lab on U of TO campus

5) Asteroid files missing from observatory. (Check with aliens)

6) Llama has communal dung pile in her 'Relationship Paddock'

7) Old, Dead Guy reanimated in Nunkies Anonymous Shrine is ready to destroyeveryone.

8) Vachon's Amazing and Transcendental Motorbike is lonely. Needs new friend.

9) Fried war brain cells replaced by fried real life brain cells.

"That's easy! Let's get busy writing," Cousin Tser said, as Cindy and the FoDsstarted handing out paper, pencils, and laptops.

The factions erupted in cheers, whoops, whistles, and yep, even bounces. TheKnighties tried for a puppy pile. A few others began to form a circle for agroup hug.

Suddenly, a strange woman burst through the mansion's doors. She lookeddisheveled and confused. Too many strange events had happened to her since shehad arrived in Toronto almost two weeks ago.

"I'm ready!" Mary Sue shouted, a manic smile on her face. "I know what's goingon! I know why I've been so disheveled and confused, to say nothing of manicand lost. It's ... because ... it's ... WAR!"

Her smile turned to a frown as she stared at the crowd. This bunch sure didn'tlook very warlike to her. In fact, everyone seemed to be almost arm in arm,reeking love, happiness and tolerance. Even the vampires looked plea sed. Not awarlike persona in sight.. *What* was going on?

She stood silent as the crowd began to hug. When it seemed as though LaCroixand Janette were about to join in, she ran screaming from the mansion.

"ARGH!!! I'm going back to my research center. Living underground *has* to be better than this!"


Subject: WAR: Warmistress: We Are Family
Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2001 10:20:16 -0400
From: "Don Fasig" phase3 [at] GATE.NET
Reply-To: FKWarMistress [at] aol.com

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Night of Wine and Music
by Alex

takes place at the Happy Souvlaki Deli,
shortly after the Ravenettes arrive at the FoDs Party

Watching Janette and LaCroix in each other's bodies together made for a great night they were beautifully dressed, well Janette and LaCroix do have great taste in fashion. Mindi made a perfect selection for the music which set the mood, and drinking a glass of Janette's wine from her cellars relaxed me no end it's been a trying War.

Talking to the other Ravenettes I felt a bit sad as soon it will be over, but it had been crazy war with no rhyme or reason but I suspect the reason will be revealed soon.

"At least there's been no fashion or bad make up attack on Janette this unlike the last" commented to Molly who agreed. "Couldn't stand another attack like that one, sure is a great party don't you think"

"Yeh have to admit the Fod's do know how to make a good party almost as good as we do" Alex said to Molly and Kimmer.

Kaiya brought me a cake and a refill for my glass, "Hmmm delicious cake Mindi don't suppose you'll give the recipe"? Mindi just smiled and took a bite of her cake. Oh well I'll just have to wait till the next war for some more cakes I thought.

Subject: WAR: Ravenette: "Night of Wine and Music"
Date: Thu, 19 Jul 2001 00:54:18 +1000
From: "Access1" taliesyn [at] C031.AONE.NET.AU
Reply-To: Access1 taliesyn [at] C031.AONE.NET.AU

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Party Hearty At The Happy Souvlaki, Chapter 3
by Kimmer

Tuesday, July 17, 2001
takes place at the Happy Souvlaki Deli, at the FoDs party

Kimmer wasn't sure of the exact moment in time, she was watching, but she couldn't say for sure. All she really knew was, after Janette and Lacroix had finished dancing together, they were themselves again.

"Wow..." was all she could breathe. Becoming each other, becoming one in the dance, becoming themselves. It was extraordinary.

Janette and Lacroix, now themselves, were deep in conversation. Molly tapped Kimmer's arm, to get her attention.

"It worked, huh?" Molly said. "The Vitamin U?".

Kimmer nodded, still amazed at what she had witnessed. "Looks like it to me, Molly. C'mon, let's go try some of Mindi's cake. I need a drink, too".

Claudia, LeeAnn, Time and Lorna motioned for Kimmer and Molly to join them at their table. The Ravenettes talked excitedly about the change, and the apparent success of Vitamin U.

The FoDs party was a success! The turnout was huge, the premise was solved. There was much food and drink, good music, much merry-making.

The Ravenettes spent some time on the dance floor. Finding their hosts, they wished Mr. and Mrs. Schanke the happiest of anniversaries, thanked Cindy and the rest of the FoDs and headed back to the Raven.

It was almost time to go home.

finis chapter 3
end arc

Subject: WAR: Ravenettes: "Party Hearty At The Happy Souvlaki" Chapter 3
Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2001 11:34:39 -0600
From: "kimmer" kimmertom [at] QWEST.NET
Reply-To: kimmer kimmertom [at] QWEST.NET
all participants used with permission

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We'll Be Back
by Molly/StormBorn

Time and Place: FoD Party

"Hmmph!" Molly surveyed the scene, folding her arms in front of her shiny torso. She'd taken the chance of a party to do the Ravenettes proud by dressing in a stunning technopunk outfit of silver spandex, and this was her reward?

"Hmmph, indeed!" agreed Mindi, who was also dressed to the nines (even her wrist sling was covered in black-and-burgundy striped velvet).

"I do not hug," Molly stated firmly. "I do not write on command. And if everybody always gets along and never disagrees, things grow stale pretty fast--isn't that why we *have* Wars?"

"Hmmn...to have fun?" asked Mindi. "To play pranks on other factions?"

"Exactly. Without the different factions the fandom would not be nearly as interesting, but we don't always agree. So if we attack a faction during Wartime, we can have our disagreement and still be friends...um, does that make sense?"

"It does, actually," said Kaiya. "I wish we'd had a chance to do more attacks this War."

"Me, too," sighed the GothPunk. "I mean, I *really* wanted to get into the DP Mansion and re-do their wardrobes...Tracy's especially!"

"It was still great playing with you all," Mindi said, sniffling slightly. "We did it with grace and style, in true Ravenette fashion! Janette would be proud of us!"

"Straight up!" Molly agreed.

"Well, why are we hanging around here when we have a bar of our own?" asked Kaiya. "Let's go have a few drinks, turn on the sound system full blast--and plot for next time. Because there will be a next time!"

And with that the Ravenettes turned on their collective high heels (and wheels) and retired.


Subject: WAR: Ravenettes: We'll Be Back
Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 23:18:32 -0000
From: "StormBorn" smolly4 [at] QWEST.NET
Reply-To: StormBorn smolly4 [at] QWEST.NET

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